I am afraid. What am I afraid of? I am afraid I will be left only with myself as a resource. I can never be enough. I am not able to do all that needs to be done. I don’t know enough. I cannot know everything. What am I to do? Trust God, of course. Trust God? Can He be trusted, or will He stand back and leave me to my own capabilities? What if that happens?
Matthew 8:2-4 (ESV)
2 And behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” 3 And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately his leprosy was cleansed. 4 And Jesus said to him, “See that you say nothing to anyone, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a proof to them.”
We are not very familiar with leprosy. Most of what we know comes from reading the scriptures. Leprosy is mostly a tropical disease, and we do not live in the tropics. Leprosy is a communicable disease, although not as contagious as history would lead us to believe. It is marked by skin involvement, so it is visually identifiable. In the ancient world, having leprosy made you an outcast. You were unclean. You could not interact with non-leprous persons. Being healed of leprosy meant you could become part of society again. Lord, “if you are willing…..” Jesus not only heals him but touches him. Touch, a sensation that would have been rare for an unclean outcast.
Often we come to God with some misgivings. We waffle a little because we do not fully trust in His goodness. The leper asks for healing with the qualifier “if you are willing.” I know there is an undercurrent of this thinking in my world view. I know He can, but is He willing? This certainly surrounds all the issues surrounding supernatural healing. That is a complex subject I will not address here (seriously it would take a very large book). I find that I do not always trust that God is willing to give me the grace to be who He has designed me to be or to do what He has for me to do. That leaves me afraid. Why afraid? Because, if He is not willing to step in, then that leaves only me. I am woefully inadequate. I am afraid. This is an issue of trust. The leper did not ask Jesus if He could, he only asked if Jesus would. I must learn to trust, because after all: HE IS WILLING.
Lord if you are willing, make me whole.
Ezekiel 36:25-27 (ESV)
25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. 26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.